Sunday, January 14, 2007

Modern Day Myth

Demeter stood on a balcony of her mountain home, looking out over her domain, and worried. Once when she stood on the great blue mountain overlooking the valleys and low hills her domain stretched from one distant horizon to the other. There was a time when the hills were covered with woodlands and the valleys were covered with golden fields. In those days people waited for her, sending her sacrifices to insure her blessing on their crops, knowing that it was her blessing that made the earth fruitful. But now there was a strange haze in the distance. For years she had watched it develop, watched it grow to cover the hills and valleys she had once tended. First it was barely a smear on the horizon, but it had been creeping closer and closer to the blue, cloud-kissed mountain that she called home. Now it was barely three valleys away, and it worried her. She could not see into that haze and could not understand what was keeping her out of her ancient domain. Frustrated, she jumped off of the balcony and rushed down the side of the mountain.
Soon the woodland around her gave way to big leafy vines. She slowed and looked around till she spotted a large, lush bunch of grapes.
“Dionysus!” she called “God of the vineyard, I need you!” She waited impatiently as a slight rustle stirred the deep, glossy vines. After a few moments the vines nearest her jumped of their supports and twisted together, growing, changing. Before long the figure of an ample man stepped out of the doorway of grape vines.
“Demeter! What are you doing here?” he smiled at her, his chins quivering with mirth. “Care for some wine?” he asked, pulling two glasses full of ruby liquid out of the air.
“No thank you. I have a question to ask you. Do you know what is on the horizon, covering my hills and valleys, filling the air with smoke and filth? I have watched it for years but I cannot see it through the haze.”
“Oh, my dear, of course I do! But it is not a place for you. It is a city, my dear.”
“A city? But I can go into cities. Don’t you remember Babylon? I planted a beautiful garden there. And in Athens, Thebes, and Alexandria people needed me to tend their kitchen gardens and to bring a little green into the yards. They cannot bear to live surrounded by only wood and stone without any living plants to lighten their day.”
“But, my dear, this city is different. You used to be needed there, but it has learned to shut you out. They call it modernization. Haven’t you noticed that haze? That’s what happened when the people there decided they had no more for growing things, or for you. They are content in their worlds of glass and cement. They have colored paintings instead of flower beds and canvas awnings in lieu of trees. For people with those kinds of amenities, who needs nature?”
Demeter stared at the haze on the horizon with tears in her eyes. “But Dionysus, if I am shut out, how do you know these things?”
“Because I’m the god of wine, of course!” He waved his empty glass at her and it refilled with a crisp white wine. “People in that city love wine. They pride themselves on it, even though it comes from fields farther and farther away.” He looked momentarily sad, but soon the look was replaced by his customary mirth. “Would you like to see into this city that is worrying you so?”
Demeter nodded, eager to see this strange place for herself. Dionysus held out is hand, and as soon as she took it in her own they were off. They sped over the hills that she knew better than anyone, but as they went farther something felt wrong. The soils were off, the air was foul. But then they broke through the haze and she gasped in surprise. Towers of glass and steel rose high into the air, blocking out the sun. Brightly flashing signs vied for her attentions and all around her were people. People walking, eating, sitting, hurrying past in cars and busses. And as she stared I amazement she noticed that Dionysus was right. The city had nothing growing anywhere. She searched frantically through the brightly lit roads and the dark narrow alleys, on the rooftops and in windowsills but could not find a single plant that would need her watchful care and blessing. After a long while she found Dionysus, sitting at a cafĂ© with a bottle of wine on the table. As he poured her a glass a lone tear fell from her eye and hit the pavers at her feet. Where it fell a daisy bloomed, its deep roots stretched out for the least bit of nourishment and its small face turned toward the little sunlight. But Demeter was so distracted she didn’t even notice it until she heard a little girl in the crowd behind her say quietly, “look mommy, there’s a flower.”
Her mother looked down and smiled and said, “yes darling, that is a lovely flower. Just like the ones we had in my yard when I grew up.”
Demeter heard this and smiled. For now she knew that even in this hazy city there were still people who loved flowers. She set down her glass next to Dionysus’ and jumped into the air, speeding over the city. Behind her rain fell and from that rain things started to grow.

3 comments:

Meredith said...

Kristine,
I really enjoyed reading your myth, I love your word choice and the descriptions you gave for each of the characters. Great job! I really like your description of the landscape.

Kali's in Rome said...

Kristine,
Your myth was very interesting and a great read. I love the descriptions of the surroundings and the characters you used. Great job on using a modern sense.

Veneta said...

I enjoyed your story. If you decide to expand it more I think you need more time in the city and more dramatic ending. Have more then one tear fall. The detail you have on the lone flower is great. Have a stronger reaction from the child, have her point and pull her mother. More detail from Demeter at that point in time. Tells us more how her hearth felt, how she looked when she heard the conversation. The last sentence is a very good idea, but you need stronger words to express it, may be even make 2-5 sentences out of it. Tell us how the city changed and especially how the people responded.

Here are some picky details you may want to also alter or keep.
= At the begging Demeter jumps off her balcony – this sounds a bit undignified :) Have her float off or drift down the mountain, etc.
= The description on how Dionysus appears is fabulous; you did a great job on it.
= The dialog is believable and rich.
= I would put a new line at “After a long while she found Dionysus…”
= A bit more show then tell of the city where there are no plants would make the story stronger.
= Last note: you never say that Demeter and Dionysus split and we only realize that after they rejoin. Either says they split and have them both come and sit down at a coffee shop.